Greetings for the Season!
I continue to make my health my #1 priority. Most of my energy is
focused on the goals of making my daily life more comfortable and
ensuring that I remain as mobile as possible for as long as possible.
Of my time - outside of being with my family - it is spent mostly on
health, educational, and employment issues. Being closer to family
support was one of the more significant reasons that I relocated "home"
to SE Louisiana and that is very much working to my benefit now.
The wheels of progress on the employment front turn painfully slow, but
they do turn. In this area I am still mostly in a "research &
education" phase as I sort through what it is I can "do" for both the
short and long term that will balance all of my needs, especially those
relating to my Psoriatic Arthritis (PA) condition.
My health situation has remained fairly steady. I progress in some
areas while I slowly regress in others. Time and fatigue are no doubt
my biggest enemies. If I were to do all that I could to improve my
health and mobility, that is all that I would do every day. Of course
that would get pretty boring for me so there are sacrifices. Yet I have
made significant progress on educating myself about my illness,
especially in the past few months, and have even found a place where I
can share some of these efforts with others that are just like me! This
has been marvelous.
One of my best forms of daily entertainment continues to be my
motorcycle. It is a 50mi round trip for my swimming routine and since
it is mostly through rural & wooded areas it makes for a rather pleasant
ride. As crazy at it sounds, this is still the easiest vehicle for me
to operate. Of course it is ALSO the most FUN! Zoom - ZOOM!!!!!!
<GRIN
sailboard equipment has remained virtually untouched for two years.
Contra Dancing is on my mind continuously but the activity itself exists
for me mostly in my imagination (for now). I managed to again visit the
wonderful folks at the Spring dance weekend in Huntsville, AL (on my
bike) and was my only dance this year. <frown
Swimming has no doubt been the most substantial glue for my existence
and has been responsible for my most significant accomplishments this
year. This Spring I "took it up a notch" and rounded out my routine to
a 1x600 breast, 2x300 back, 3x200 free, in about 50 min. I also started
doing Yoga again. I thought this was pretty darn good. In Summer I
then managed to squeeze off a few strokes of butterfly. This was too
good to be true and figured I'd peaked for the year, nothing could top
that! I was wrong.
This Fall I decided that, at the rate things were going, it did not seem
unrealistic that I could get active again with US Masters Swimming and
possibly even compete again. Just showing up seemed like a good enough
accomplishment to me. I intended to sign up now and possibly visit a
meet this summer. As I browsed for registration information I noticed
that the only local event listed for many months to come was a two-day
meet in less than five weeks. I did not feel mentally prepared but
figured I'd get through it physically so I signed up five days before
the deadline. This was a huge leap outside my "comfort zone".
My goals for the meet were to finish all my events without being
disqualified or injuring myself. Less than ten minutes before my first
event I wrenched my shoulder in a practice start and doubted if I would
get through the day. By the end of the meet I had four medals (2
bronze, 1 silver, 1 gold) and was the 3rd highest point scorer in my age
bracket (and no DQ's). Not too shabby for a "feels old" crippled guy
with a lame shoulder! From the end of day one until I got home after
the meet I could not seriously consider what I had accomplished without
my eyes welling up with tears.
It is impossible for me to express in this simple message how much this
years accomplishments in my swimming program mean to me.
I am a firm believer in the power of laughter as a healing force so I
have followed this update with a bit of humor that answers a burning
question that has plagued me for many years. Hope you enjoy it.
I wish you all a Joyous time this season and a fruitful New Year. Your
dreams will come true if you believe strongly enough in them.
Nameste,
Conrad
Engineering Guy Extraordinaire
(Pretty good Swimmer Guy too!)
"An Engineer's Christmas - or: How does Santa DO that?"
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the
world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the
workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million
(according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census)
rate of 3.5 children per household that comes to 108 million homes,
presuming there is at least one good child in each.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels
east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop
out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining
presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get
back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept
for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78
miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting
bathroom stops or breaks.
This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- or 3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man
made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per
second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two
pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting
Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than
300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times
the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of
them -- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload,
not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly
seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the
monarch).
600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each.
In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing
the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their
wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26
thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth
house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015
pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing
him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist,
he's dead now.
Merry Christmas!